The trouble with Communism is the Communists, just as the trouble with Christianity is the Christians.

It is the classic fallacy of our time that a moron run through a university and decorated with a Ph.D. will thereby cease to be a moron.

No married woman ever trusts her husband absolutely, nor does she ever act as if she did trust him. Her utmost confidence is as wary as an American pickpocket's confidence that the policeman on the beat will stay bought.

Immortality is the condition of a dead man who doesn't believe he is dead

A critic is a man who writes about things he doesn't like.

Dachshund: A half-a-dog high and a dog-and-a-half long.

Whatever the label on the parties, or the war cries issuing from the demagogues who lead them, the practical choice is between the plutocracy on the one side and a rabble of preposterous impossibilists on the other.