The way for newspapers to meet the competition of radio and television is simply to get out better papers.

It is almost impossible for an Anglo-Saxon to write of sex without being dirty.

Unsuccessful candidates for the Presidency should be quietly hanged as a matter of public sanitation and decorum.

All the great villainies of history, from the murder of Abel onward, have been perpetrated by sober men, chiefly by Teetotalers.

If all the lawyers were hanged tomorrow, and their bones were sold to a mah jong factory, we'd all be freer and safer, and our taxes would be reduced by almost a half.

Liberals have many tails and chase them all.

Here is tragedy - and here is America. For the curse of the country, as well of all democracies, is precisely the fact that it treats its best men as enemies. The aim of our society, if it may be said to have an aim, is to iron them out. The ideal American, in the public sense, is a respectable vacuum.