Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.

The way to deal with superstition is not to be polite to it, but to tackle it with all arms, and so rout it, cripple it, and make it forever infamous and ridiculous.

The other day a dog peed on me. A bad sign.

Life may not be exactly pleasant, but it is at least not dull. Heave yourself into Hell today, and you may miss, tomorrow or next day, another Scopes trial, or another War to End War, or perchance a rich and buxom widow with all her first husband's clothes. There are always more Hardings hatching. I advocate hanging on as long as possible.

The kind of man who demands that government enforce his ideas is always the kind whose ideas are idiotic.

When I hear artists or authors making fun of businessmen, I think of a regiment in which the band makes fun of the cooks.

The great achievement of liberal Protestantism was to make God boring.