If what I may believe - about gall-stones, the Constitution, castor oil, or God - is conditioned by law, then I am not a free man.

The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office.

The storm center of lawlessness in every American State is the State Capitol. It is there that the worst crimes are committed; it is there that lawbreaking attains to the estate and dignity of a learned profession; it is there that contempt for the laws is engendered, fostered, and spread broadcast.

A critic is a man who writes about things he doesn't like.

The real charm of the United States is that it is the only comic country ever heard of.

Suicide is a belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives.

After all is said and done, a hell lot of a lot more is said than done.