I hate sports the way people who like sports hate common sense.

It is my conviction that no normal man ever fell in love, within the ordinary meaning of the term, after the age of thirty.

Law and its instrument, government, are necessary to the peace and safety of all of us, but all of us, unless we live the lives of mud turtles, frequently find them arrayed against us.

Creator: A comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.

What ass first let loose the doctrine that the suffrage is a high boon and voting a noble privilege?

The only kind of freedom that the mob can imagine is freedom to annoy and oppress its betters, and that is precisely the kind that we mainly have.

The only liberty an inferior man really cherishes is the liberty to quit work, stretch out in the sun, and scratch himself.