Who ever heard, indeed, of an autobiography that was not (interesting)? I can recall none in all the literature of the world

The only kind of freedom that the mob can imagine is freedom to annoy and oppress its betters, and that is precisely the kind that we mainly have.

The only really respectable Protestants are the fundamentalists. Unfortunately, they are also palpable idiots.

I do not believe in democracy, but I am perfectly willing to admit that it provides the only really amusing form of government ever endured by mankind.

There's really no point to voting. If it made any difference, it would probably be illegal.

Deep within the heart of every evangelist lies the wreck of a car salesman.

Bridges would not be safer if only people who knew the proper definition of a real number were allowed to design them.