The verdict of a jury is the a priori opinion of that juror who smokes the worst cigars.

If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be barred from any public office in the United States and the families of the breed would be shipped off to the white slave corrals of Argentina.

Science is unflinchingly deterministic, and it has begun to force its determinism into morals. On some shining tomorrow a psychoanalyst may be put into the box to prove that perjury is simply a compulsion neurosis, like beating time with the foot at a concert or counting the lampposts along the highway.

After all is said and done, a hell lot of a lot more is said than done.

I detest converts almost as much as I do missionaries.

Dachshund: A half-a-dog high and a dog-and-a-half long.

The real man lies in the depths of subconscious.