The verdict of a jury is the a priori opinion of that juror who smokes the worst cigars.

I am against slavery simply because I dislike slaves.

That it should still be necessary, at this late stage in the senility of the human race to argue that women have a fine and fluent intelligence is surely an eloquent proof of the defective observation, incurable prejudice, and general imbecility of their lords and masters.

The life of man in this world is like the life of a fly in a room filled with 100 boys, each armed with a fly-swatter.

Creator: A comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.

Congress consists of one-third, more or less, scoundrels; two-thirds, more or less, idiots; and three-thirds, more or less, poltroons.

At the end of one millennium and nine centuries of Christianity, it remains an unshakable assumption of the law in all Christian countries and of the moral judgement of Christians everywhere that if a man and a woman, entering a room together, close the door behind them, the man will come out sadder and the woman wiser.