Some boys go to college and eventually succeed in getting out. Others go to college and never succeed in getting out. The latter are called professors.
H. L. MenckenLife without sex might be safer but it would be unbearably dull. It is the sex instinct which makes women seem beautiful, which they are once in a blue moon, and men seem wise and brave, which they never are at all. Throttle it, denaturalize it, take it away, and human existence would be reduced to the prosaic, laborious, boresome, imbecile level of life in an anthill.
H. L. MenckenThe artist is not a reporter, but a Great Teacher. It is not his business to depict the world as it is, but as it ought to be.
H. L. MenckenThe Gettysburg Adress has been included, of late, in several anthologies of poetry. It actually meets the major requirement of all poetry: It is a mellifluous and emotional statement of the obviously not true. The men who fought for self-determination at Gettysburg were not the Federals but the Confederates.
H. L. Mencken