Creator: A comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.

Unionism, seldom if ever, uses such powers as it has to ensure better work; almost always it devotes a large part of that power to safeguard bad work.

Every man is his own hell.

The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties he is at the maximum of his villainy.

There is no idea so stupid that you can't find a professor who will believe it.

A politician normally prospers under democracy in proportion ... as he excels in the invention of imaginary perils and imaginary defenses against them.

The worst government is the most moral.