No politician is ever benefited by saving money; it is spending it that makes him.
A Puritan is someone who is desperately afraid that, somewhere, someone might be having a good time.
[T]he only thing wrong with Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address was that it was the South, not the North, that was fighting for a government of the people, by the people and for the people.
God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat.
A poet over 30 is pathetic
The average woman must inevitably view her actual husband with a certain disdain; he is anything but her ideal. In consequence, she cannot help feeling that her children are cruelly handicapped by the fact that he is their father.