It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull.

The trouble with Communism is the Communists, just as the trouble with Christianity is the Christians.

If the average man is made in God's image, then a man such as Beethoven or Aristotle is plainly superior to God, and so God may be jealous of him, and eager to see his superiority perish with his bodily frame.

Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.

There is no idea so stupid that you can't find a professor who will believe it.

Thanksgiving Day is a day devoted by persons with inflammatory rheumatism to thanking a loving Father that it is not hydrophobia.

There is, in fact, no reason to believe that any given natural phenomenon, however marvelous it may seem today, will remain forever inexplicable. Soon or late the laws governing the production of life itself will be discovered in the laboratory, and man may set up business as a creator on his own account. The thing, indeed, is not only conceivable; it is even highly probable.