Anyhow, the hole in the donut is at least digestible.

Philadelphia is the most pecksniffian of American cities, and thus probably leads the world.

Justice is what you get when you run out of money.

Why writers write I do not know. As well ask why a hen lays an egg or why a cow stands patiently while an underprivileged farmer burglarizes her.

As long as you represent me as praising alcohol I shall not complain. It is, I believe, the greatest of human inventions, and by far - much greater than Hell, the radio or the bichloride tablet.

There is, it appears, a conspiracy of scientists afoot. Their purpose is to break down religion, propagate immorality, and so reduce mankind to the level of brutes. They are the sworn and sinister agents of Beelzebub, who yearns to conquer the world, and has his eye especially upon Tennessee.]

Only a jackass ever talks over his affairs with a woman, whether she be his sweetheart, wife, or sister, or mother.