A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark.

There is always a sheet of paper. There is always a pen. There is always a way out.

Christian endeavor is notoriously hard on female pulchritude.

In the United States, doing good has come to be, like patriotism, a favorite device of persons with something to sell.

No professional politician is ever actually in favor of public economy. It is his implacable enemy, and he knows it. All professional politicians are dedicated wholeheartedly to waste and corruption. They are the enemies of every decent man.

A skeptic as to all ideas, including especially my own, I have never suffered a pang when the ideas of some other imbecile prevailed.

Perhaps the most revolting character that the United States ever produced was the Christian Businessman.