Dachshund: A half-a-dog high and a dog-and-a-half long.

American journalism (like the journalism of any other country) is predominantly paltry and worthless. Its pretensions are enormous, but its achievements are insignificant.

Government is actually the worst failure of civilized man. There has never been a really good one, and even those that are most tolerable are arbitrary, cruel, grasping and unintelligent.

Liberty and democracy are eternal enemies, and every one knows it who has ever given any sober reflection to the matter.

No man of honor ever quite lives up to his code, any more than a moral man manages to avoid sin.

Not by accident, you may be sure, do the Christian Scriptures make the father of knowledge a serpent - slimy, sneaking and abominable.

The Christian always swears a bloody oath that he will never do it again. The civilized man simply resolves to be a bit more careful next time.