Genius: the ability to prolong one's childhood.

Unsuccessful candidates for the Presidency should be quietly hanged as a matter of public sanitation and decorum.

Creator: A comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.

My guess is that well over eighty per cent. of the human race goes through life without having a single original thought.

The world always makes the assumption that the exposure of an error is identical with the discovery of truth - that error and truth are simply opposite. They are nothing of the sort. What the world turns to, when it has been cured of one error, is usually simply another error, and maybe one worse than the first one.

It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards celibacy as an actual sin.

Whenever I write anything that sets up controversy its meaning is distorted almost instantly. Even the editorial writers of newspapers seem to be unable to understand the plainest sentence.