The average schoolmaster is and always must be essentially an ass, for how can one imagine an intelligent man engaging in so puerile an avocation.

People do not expect to find chastity in a whorehouse. Why, then, do they expect to find honesty and humanity in government, a congeries of institutions whose modus operandi consists of lying, cheating, stealing, and if need be, murdering those who resist?

I think the Negro people should feel secure enough by now to face a reasonable ridicule without terror. I am unalterably opposed to all efforts to put down free speech, whatever the excuse.

Living with a dog is easy- like living with an idealist.

Christian endeavor is notoriously hard on female pulchritude.

Save among politicians it is no longer necessary for any educated American to profess belief in Thirteenth Century ideas

There is always a sheet of paper. There is always a pen. There is always a way out.