There are no mute, inglorious Miltons, save in the hallucinations of poets. The one sound test of a Milton is that he functions as a Milton.

There is, in fact, no reason to believe that any given natural phenomenon, however marvelous it may seem today, will remain forever inexplicable. Soon or late the laws governing the production of life itself will be discovered in the laboratory, and man may set up business as a creator on his own account. The thing, indeed, is not only conceivable; it is even highly probable.

Metaphysics is almost always an attempt to prove the incredible by an appeal to the unintelligible.

If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be barred from any public office in the United States and the families of the breed would be shipped off to the white slave corrals of Argentina.

If x is the population of the United States and y is the degree of imbecility of the average American, then democracy is the theory that x times y is less than y

Hamlet has been played by 5,000 actors, no wonder he is crazy.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.