The other day a dog peed on me. A bad sign.

When I hear a man applauded by the mob I always feel a pang of pity for him. All he has to do to be hissed is to live long enough.

Dachshund: A half-a-dog high and a dog-and-a-half long.

The intellectual heritage of the race belongs to the minority.

No one hates his job so heartily as a farmer.

The federal [bank deposit] insurance scheme has worked up to now simply and solely because there have been very few bank failures. The next time we have a pestilence of them it will come to grief quickly enough, and if the good banks escape ruin with the bad ones it will be only because the taxpayer foots the bill.

There is no record in human history of a happy philosopher: they exist only in romantic legend.