A critic is a man who writes about things he doesn't like.

Courtroom : A place where Jesus Christ and Judas Iscariot would be equals, with the betting odds favoring Judas.

Looking for an honest politician is like looking for an ethical burglar.

Progress: The process whereby the human race has got rid of whiskers, the vermiform appendix and God.

My belief in free speech is so profound that I am seldom tempted to deny it to the other fellow. Nor do I make any effort to differentiate between the other fellow right and that other fellow wrong, for I am convinced that free speech is worth nothing unless it includes a full franchise to be foolish and even...malicious.

Some immemorial imbecilities have been added deliberately, on the ground that it is just as interesting to note how foolish men have been as to note how wise they have been.

Democracy must be a sound scheme at bottom, else it would not survive such cruel strains.