Whenever a reporter is assigned to cover a Methodist conference, he comes home an atheist.

The theory behind representative government is that superior men-or at least men not inferior to the average in ability and integrity-are chosen to manage the public business, and that they carry on this work with reasonable intelligence and honest. There is little support for that theory in known facts.

The worshiper is the father of the gods.

The most curious social convention of the great age in which we live is the one to the effect that religious opinions should be respected.

No form of liberty is worth a darn [sic] which doesn't give us the right to do wrong now and then.

All the political seers and sorcerers seem to be agreed that the coming Presidential campaign will be full of bitterness, and that most of it will be caused by religion. I count Prohibition as a part of religion, for it has surely become so in the United States. The Prohibitionists, seeing all their other arguments destroyed by the logic of events, have fallen back upon the mystical doctrine that God is somehow on their side, and that opposing them thus takes on the character of blasphemy.

A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses.