The only liberty an inferior man really cherishes is the liberty to quit work, stretch out in the sun, and scratch himself.

People say we need religion when what they really mean is we need police.

Women have a hard time of it in this world. They are oppressed by man-made laws, man-made social customs, masculine egoism, the delusion of masculine superiority. Their one comfort is the assurance that, even though it may be impossible to prevail against man, it is always possible to enslave and torture a man.

Justice is what you get when you run out of money.

Wherever I sit is the head of the table.

Christian - One who is willing to serve three Gods, but draws the line at one wife.

The instant I reach Heaven, I'm going to speak to God very sharply.