Man is a beautiful machine that works very badly. He is like a watch of which the most that can be said is that its cosmetic effect is good.

Socialism: nothing more than the theory that the slave is always more virtuous than his master.

Fame: an embalmer trembling with stage fright.

There comes a time in every man's life when he's consumed by the desire to spit on his palms, hoist the black flag and start cutting throats.

When I hear artists or authors making fun of businessmen, I think of a regiment in which the band makes fun of the cooks.

The objection to a Communist always resolves itself into the fact that he is not a gentleman.

I am one of the few goyim who have ever actually tackled the Talmud. I suppose you now expect me to add that it is a profound and noble work, worthy of hard study by all other goyims. Unhappily, my report must differ from this expectation. It seems to me, save for a few bright spots, to be quite indistinguishable from rubbish.