Deep within the heart of every evangelist lies the wreck of a car salesman.

Truth would quickly cease to be stranger than fiction, once we got as used to it.

To the best of my knowledge and belief, the average American newspaper, even of the so-called better sort, is not only quite as bad as Upton Sinclair says it is, but 10 times worse, 10 times as ignorant, 10 times as unfair and tyrannical, 10 times as complaisant and pusillanimous, and 10 times as devious, hypocritical, disingenuous, deceitful, pharisaical, Pecksniffian, fraudulent, slippery, unscrupulous, perfidious, lewd and dishonest.

Clergyman: A ticket speculator outside the gates of Heaven.

Since the early days, [the church] has thrown itself violently against every effort to liberate the body and mind of man. It has been, at all times and everywhere, the habitual and incorrigible defender of bad governments, bad laws, bad social theories, bad institutions. It was, for centuries, an apologist for slavery, as it was an apologist for the divine right of kings.

The worst of marriage is that it makes a woman believe that all men are just as easy to fool.

The fact is that the average man's love of liberty is nine-tenths imaginary, exactly like his love of sense, justice and truth.