My nephew's always crying. I'm like, 'Dude, why are you crying? Your life is great. All you do is eat apple sauce and take dumps. That's your day.
Hannibal BuressThere's no room for failure performing [stand-up] for a black audience. If you don't get them right away it's tough winning them back even if you're doing top-notch material. If you didn't win them right when you walked out there, it's tough.
Hannibal BuressWe were talking about urban youth. And by urban I mean lives in a city not urban as in black like white people use it.
Hannibal BuressWhen people go through something rough in life, they say, "I'm taking it one day at a time." Yes, so is everybody. Because that's how time works.
Hannibal BuressGod sounds kinda like a shitty father to me. If God was so powerful why'd he have to give his son up? It sounds like God owed someone some money and they couldn't get to him, so they murked his son. That's what I really think happened. Jesus got stabbed up in an alley... but it's easier to sell crucifixes. You can't sell a pendant of someone getting shanked up In the alley. It's a marketing scheme.
Hannibal Buress