My philosophy of life is that the meek shall inherit nothing but debasement, frustration, and ignoble deaths.

For the first time we have a weapon that nobody has used for thirty years. This gives me great hope for the human race.

People on the outside think there's something magical about writing, that you go up in the attic at midnight and cast the bones and come down in the morning with a story, but it isn't like that. You sit in back of the typewriter and you work, and that's all there is to it.

I can't picture in my mind three hundred and sixty thousand dollars... When I think of it, all I can see in my mind is a big nickel.

There is Harlan Ellison the human being, who takes a crap a couple of times a day, and who farts, and who eats chicken croquettes, if I can find them. And then there is the writer, this writer-person, who is a much finer person than I. Much more orderly, much more meaningful. Worthier, than I [am].

I see all. I hear all. I know all. And I spend a great deal of time in the bathroom.

You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.