No one will laugh at how great things are for somebody.

Never hit anyone in anger, unless you're absolutely sure you can get away with it.

As an actor, you're completely at the mercy of other people. You basically go begging for the opportunity to work. As a writer, at least nobody can tell me what to do. I can write what I want. I might not sell it, but at least I'm in control.

The times change, and to the extent that comedy captures the spirit of the times, it will enjoy success.

The cutting room is where you discover the optimal length of the movie.

I believe things happen that can't be explained, but so many people seem intent on explaining them. Everyone has an answer for them. Either aliens or things from the spirit world.

Stand-up is every man for himself; you learn from hanging out at these clubs and watching other guys, and then trying not to be like them.