I quit shoelaces a long time ago.

I’ve got four nipples. I think I must have been a twin, but the one other went away and left its nipples behind.

Introducing Tac-os! It's meat, cheese, and lettuce flavored O's in a tortilla bowl... it even makes the milk taste like tacos!

If you're going to get in trouble for hitting someone, might as well hit them hard.

People often ask me why don't you have a girlfriend. Then I smile and say: I have thousands some just haven't met me yet

I want a girl who respects herself. It means her standards are high and if I fit them then id be honored. If she's easy then what does that say about me?

I’m still waiting for that passionate kiss in the rain.