Please, people, do not f- with depression. It's merciless. All it wants is to get you in a room alone and kill you. Take care of yourself.

Actually, I think the average voice is like 70 percent tone and 30 percent noise. My voice is 95 percent noise.

In London they don't like you if you're still alive.

How time flies when you're doin all the talking.

There are easier things in life than being a drag queen. But I ain't got no choice. Try as I may, I just can't walk in flats.

As the book writer for one big smash and one big smelly flop, I always wondered if anyone knows just what goes into making a great musical. When a show is a hit, the critics trip over themselves not knowing who to laud and applaud the loudest. It's that marvelous score, those urbane lyrics, that irreplaceable star. But only when a show is a flop, does anyone notice the book writer. And then it's always our fault.

I have great faith in the United States. It's the only country I would ever live in.