It was one thing to go to the end of the world; it was quite another thing to make oneself at home there. Even respectability seemed to lose some of its virtue when one practiced it in a tent.

Every reformation must have its victims. You can’t expect the fatted calf to share the enthusiasm of the angels over the prodigal’s return.

All decent people live beyond their incomes; those who aren't respectable live beyond other people's; a few gifted individuals manage to do both.

People talk vaguely about the innocence of a little child, but they take mighty good care not to let it out of their sight for twenty minutes.

It's no use growing older if you only learn new ways of misbehaving yourself.

A woman who takes her husband about with her everywhere is like a cat that goes on playing with a mouse long after she's killed it.

No one can be an unbeliever nowadays. The Christian apologists have left one nothing to disbelieve.