My way of telling stories is kind of what I do naturally. It's no different from how I would talk to you if you were in my living room.

Sharks attack surfers because they look like a seal. Apparently, when you're layng on your board and you have your arms and legs hanging off, from underneath you look like a seal. So I just got a picture of a seal and put a red line through it and put it underneath my board.

I have one show biz picture in my house. It's with Mr. Hope. I have asked for one autograph in my life: Mr. Hope's.

College is great. It's the only time in life where you can write a check for 39 cents... and bounce it.

My family is number one in my life. I'll blow off writing or just about anything to make sure I take my son to preschool or watch him at his swimming lesson.

I pride myself on never using a cuss word on stage. Ever. I headline in Las Vegas every year, and this summer I am performing on an Alaskan cruise. Not too many comedians can pull that off. Funny thing is, my show doesn't change for Vegas.

My way of telling stories is kind of what I do naturally. It's no different from how I would talk to you if you were in my living room.