To get greater than 100% return on a growth step, give up defensiveness. Defensiveness stifles performance, and destroys relationships.

We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.

Dating is a place to practice how to relate to other people.

Good pain is pain in the service of a purpose. Bad pain is pain endured because we are resisting a needed growth step.

When a child shuts down his painful emotional side, he also loses the ability to express his joyous side. Emotions are a whole. With anger comes the ability to express delight; with sadness comes the ability to express lightheartedness. This is the breadth of emotion that allows an adult to experience intimacy with a spouse, with God, and with his children

When you encourage someone, it literally changes their brain chemistry to be able to perform... sends fuel to the brain.

You have to be able to face losing some things you might want in order to be free to do the right thing.