Ten out of ten people die, so don't take life too seriously.

The theater of my mind has a seating capacity of just one, and its sold out for all performances.

I do most of my work with kids. They are the very foundation of our future. We are so incredibly disrespectful to them in America in every way because they can't vote.

Boston is large enough to learn your independence and small enough to make your own.

In school, I was an underachiever.

I never knew that ["Hank Zipzer"] would happen in my life. It is one of the greatest things. It is like a gift from God.

You see, I don't know how to ride a motorcycle, actually.