Now son, you don’t want to drink beer. That’s for Daddies, and kids with fake IDs.

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.

Yea, and if some god shall wreck me in the wine-dark deep, even so I will endure… For already have I suffered full much, and much have I toiled in perils of waves and war. Let this be added to the tale of those.

Greetings, friends. Do you wish to look as happy as me? Well, you've got the power inside you right now. So use it and send one dollar to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. Don't delay. Eternal happiness is just a dollar away.

Marge, when I join an underground cult I expect a little support from my family.

Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harassing that woman.

See now, how men lay blame upon us gods for what is after all nothing but their own folly.