I've always wondered if there was a God. And now I know there is -- and it's me.

Just once I'd like someone to call me 'Sir' without adding 'You're making a scene.'

Zeus most glorious and most great, Thundercloud, throned in the heavens! Let not the sun go down and the darkness come, until I cast down headlong the citadel of Priam in flames, and burn his gates with blazing fire, and tear to rags the shirt upon Hectors breast! May many of his men fall about him prone in the dust and bite the earth!

I won't lie to you, fatherhood isn't easy like motherhood.

Whatever day Makes man a slave, takes half his worth away.

See now, how men lay blame upon us gods for what is after all nothing but their own folly.

For rarely are sons similar to their fathers: most are worse, and a few are better than their fathers.