I've always wondered if there was a God. And now I know there is -- and it's me.

You know those balls that they put on car antennas so you can find them in the parking lot? Those should be on every car!

But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!

Few sons are equal to their fathers; most fall short, all too few surpass them.

It is equally wrong to speed a guest who does not want to go, and to keep one back who is eager. You ought to make welcome the present guest, and send forth the one who wishes to go.

Thou shalt not horn in on thy husbands racket

It is equally bad when one speeds on the guest unwilling to go, and when he holds back one who is hastening. Rather one should befriend the guest who is there, but speed him when he wishes.