I've always wondered if there was a God. And now I know there is -- and it's me.

A gun is not a weapon! It's a tool, like a butcher's knife, or a harpoon, or an alligator.

To be loved, you have to be nice to people, everyday. But to be hated, you don't have to do squat!

Greetings, friends. Do you wish to look as happy as me? Well, you've got the power inside you right now. So use it and send one dollar to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. Don't delay. Eternal happiness is just a dollar away.

I long for home, long for the sight of home.

Nay if even in the house of Hades the dead forget their dead, yet will I even there be mindful of my dear comrade.

What greater glory attends a man than what he wins with his racing feet and his striving hands?