Fear, O Achilles, the wrath of heaven; think on your own father and have compassion upon me, who am the more pitiable

The other day, I was so desperate for a beer, I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers.

Pine needle sorbet? Pine needle sorbet?! My kids do NOT eat sorbet. They eat sherbet, and they pronounce it sherbert, and they wish it was ice cream!

So, the gods don't hand out all their gifts at once, not build and brains and flowing speech to all. One man may fail to impress us with his looks but a god can crown his words with beauty, charm, and men look on with delight when he speaks out. Never faltering, filled with winning self-control, he shines forth at assembly grounds and people gaze at him like a god when he walks through the streets. Another man may look like a deathless one on high but there's not a bit of grace to crown his words. Just like you, my fine, handsome friend.

I'm satisfied. It's straight,...but it's just so hot, and I'm just so fraustrated.

God help me, I'm just not that bright.

I've gone back in time to when dinosaurs weren't just confined to zoos.