Two clergymen disputing whether ordination would be valid without the imposition of both hands, the more formal one said, "Do you think the Holy Dove could fly down with only one wing?

Exercise is the worst thing in the world and as bad an invention as gunpowder.

I shun authors, and would never have been one myself, if it obliged me to keep such bad company.

Our bells are worn threadbare with ringing for victories

The Methodists love your big sinners, as proper subjects to work upon.

I have often said, and oftener think, that this world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel - a solution of why Democritus laughed and Heraclitus wept.

Our [British] summers are often, though beautiful for verdure, so cold, that they are rather cold winters.