Ignore that nightmare in the bathroom. Just another ugly refugee from the Love Generation, some doom-struck gimp who couldn't handle the pressure. My attorney has never been able to accept the notion - often espoused by reformed drug abusers and especially popular among those on probation - that you can get a lot higher without drugs than with them. And neither have I, for that matter.

Cover a war in a place where you can't drink beer or talk to a woman? Hell no!

I'm doing an introduction for one of Ralph's [Steadman] books. He's doing something called Gonzo, the Art I think he's stealing from me. I like Steadman and his coattail abilities. Ralph is better at business than I am. He has always managed to get free whiskey.

I was 22 when JFK was murdered, and I will never recover from it... Never.

But I am in the gambling business, for good or ill; it is the business I have chosen, and the only governing rule that we all recognize is: always sit close to an exit and never trust a man who doesn't sweat.

Liberalism itself has failed, and for a pretty good reason. It has been too often compromised by the people who represented it.

On my tombstone they will carve, "IT NEVER GOT FAST ENOUGH FOR ME.