The most famous cricketers are too big to play county cricket.
I don't think I've actually drunk a beer for 15 years, except a few Guinnesses in Dublin, where it's the law.
Aussies are big and empty, just like their country.
You wouldn't see those sorts of decisions given in village cricket, let alone Test cricket. The England players have my sympathy.
Genghis Khan was a fascinating man and way ahead of his time.
If I'd done a quarter of the things of which I'm accused, I'd be pickled in alcohol, I'd be a registered drug addict and would have sired half the children in the world's cricket-playing countries