Every once in a while, people need to be in the presence of things that are really far away.

I think what is important for things to be funny is if you the listener, or the reader, get a chance to supply the humor of it yourself.

Siberia is so big, it’s almost more an idea than a place

When I needed to think or was really upset, generally I climbed a tree.

America can enjoy a vital, fully functioning government, with all the benefits provided by Texas, while reducing Texas at the same time.

I am an author, and like many in my profession, I am also a traveling salesman, going all over in an attempt to persuade people to spend twenty-five dollars on a hardcover book by me.

I only saw one English-speaking person all the way across Siberia.