I don't have a disregard for my reader in humor pieces.

Siberia is so big, it’s almost more an idea than a place

America can enjoy a vital, fully functioning government, with all the benefits provided by Texas, while reducing Texas at the same time.

Russian humor is to adapt or make some sense or nonsense out of the insanity of their lives.

I think what is important for things to be funny is if you the listener, or the reader, get a chance to supply the humor of it yourself.

Human connection is the way things work. It's like a patronage system. You know somebody, and he knows somebody, and he knows somebody, and he knows the district governor, and it's okay.

I only saw one English-speaking person all the way across Siberia.