The theater is a baffling business, and a shockingly wasteful one when you consider that people who have proven their worth, who have appeared in or been responsible for successful plays, who have given outstanding performances, can still, in the full tide of their energy, be forced, through lack of opportunity, to sit idle season after season, their enthusiasm, their morale, their very talent dwindling to slow gray death. Of finances we will not even speak; it is too sad a tale.

I've got a heart like a college prom. Each one I dance with seems the best of all.

Intellect alone is a dry and rattling thing.

It is usually when men are at their most religious that they behave with the least sense and the greatest cruelty.

We've surrounded the most vital and commonplace human function with a vast morass of taboos, convention, hypocrisy, and plain claptrap.

George Moore unexpectedly pinched my behind. I felt rather honored that my behind should have drawn the attention of the great master of English prose.

I always felt that the boiled potato, not the tudor rose, should be the national emblem.