Did I hurt you in the parking lot?" "No, m'lady. I fell, so I could put a tracker on your car." Great.

I got a dog-training book. It says Grendel needs mental stimulation, so I tried to train him, but I think he must be retarded.

I know a man who is in love with my friend. He loves her absolutely. The only thing he wants in return is for her to love him.” Saiman arched his eyebrows, imitating me. “And?” "You’re the exact opposite of him. You lack the capacity to love, so you want to smother mine as well.

I’d give him a cup of coffee and a big helping of a knuckle sandwich. Generosity was a virtue and I was in the mood to be extremely virtuous.

Curran scrutinized Mart’s face. “I can’t figure out if he wants to kill you or screw you.” “I’ll be glad to make the choice for him.” Curran looked back at me. “Why is it you always attract creeps?” “You tell me.” Ha! Walked right into that one, yes, he did.

As one, the shapechangers turned and looked at me. I wondered what they'd do if I asked to borrow a cup of sugar.

The door swung open and Kate walked in. Her jeans and T-shirt were splattered with blood and she was carrying a severed vampire head. The T-shirt has a smiley face on it.