Today is the first day of the rest of your life, and if you screw that up, you can start again tomorrow.

I was thinking about picking up kayaking, but I didn't want anyone to think I had herpes.

Looking for a gem, we are sometimes dumb enough to try to hold on to a lump of coal, convinced that it will turn into a diamond in our lifetime... but all it does it get sh*t all over you until you burn it and use the energy for something else.

Neglecting your health is the equivalent to spitting in the face of everyone fighting to stay alive and of those who have lost their fight.

Who you love is an illustration of you... but whomever loves you back is you... in HD.

I used to dream of a week-long beach vacation with white sand under my toes... right now, I'd settle for 48 hours at a Motel 6 with some Lysol and a UV lamp.

I'll say it again, for every moment you're with the wrong person, you are robbing yourself and the right person of the opportunity to find real happiness.