I seen a pig so big it’d block out the sun.

Honestly, I don't see movies more than once.

...uncorny, human sized drama

I didnt have any particular talent for fiction. I took a class in college.

I remember when I first got married, there was a certain amount of internet traffic on the subject of, "Who is this beard who is allegedly married to Ira Glass? Obviously, he's gay."

Brad Pitt is so good-looking there's a lightbulb inside of him shooting good-looking-ness in all directions.

You'd think that radio was around long enough that someone would have coined a word for staring into space.