I remember when I first got married, there was a certain amount of internet traffic on the subject of, "Who is this beard who is allegedly married to Ira Glass? Obviously, he's gay."

Just when did I get to the point when staying at a hotel wasn't fun?

Honestly, I don't see movies more than once.

I don't think I ever played any sports recreationally for my own pleasure. I was bad at them from the start.

I don't think I've ever stolen anything.

It takes a while. It's gonna take you a while. It's normal to take a while. You just have to fight your way through that.

Brad Pitt is so good-looking there's a lightbulb inside of him shooting good-looking-ness in all directions.