His eldest sister (who modestly prefers to be identified here as a Tuckahoe homemaker) has asked me to describe him as looking like 'the blue-eyed Jewish-Irish Mohican scout who died in your arms at the roulette table at Monte Carlo.

Among other things, you'll find that you're not the first one who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior.

Are all your stars shining?

All morons hate it when you call them a moron.

Sex is something I really don't understand too hot. You never know where the hell you are... Sex is something I just don't understand. I swear to God.

It happens to be one of those days when I see everybody in the family, including myself, through the wrong end of a telescope.

But I was afraid of the questions (much more than the accusations) you might both put to me.