And if I may, call your mom, everybody. I've told this [to], like, a billion people, or so. Call your mom, call your dad. If you're lucky enough to have a parent or two alive on this planet, call 'em. Don't text. Don't email. Call them on the phone. Tell 'em you love 'em, and thank them, and listen to them for as long as they want to talk to you. Thank you. Thank you, Mom and Dad.

I was not a giant comic book fan as a kid, but to the extent that I did read comics, Spider-Man was always my favorite guy.

And if I may, call your mom, everybody. I've told this [to], like, a billion people, or so. Call your mom, call your dad. If you're lucky enough to have a parent or two alive on this planet, call 'em. Don't text. Don't email. Call them on the phone. Tell 'em you love 'em, and thank them, and listen to them for as long as they want to talk to you. Thank you. Thank you, Mom and Dad.

Science isn't about WHY, it's about WHY NOT!

When I got out of college I moved to Seattle because it was the nearest big city and still didn't know if I wanted to be a composer, conductor, singer, actor. I just got day jobs and auditioned and took what came and the theater doors were the ones opening the most.

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your D*** lemons, what the h*** am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

I literally went in and auditioned and got the part of "sounds like J.K. Simmons." I've heard people say a "J.K. Simmons type, but younger" or "J.K. Simmons, but with hair" or "J.K. Simmons but Mongolian." It's often "J.K. Simmons but...". You think you're on top of the world and they're asking for a "J.K. Simmons-type" and then, before you know it, they're asking for a "J.K. Simmons only younger." The next step is for a "J.K. Simmons-type...Oh, you mean he's still alive?"