To marry the Irish is to look for poverty.

The purpose of writing is to make your mother and father drop dead with shame.

When I die, I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin. I wonder would they know it was me?

Dear Mr Skully, I have caught my neck in a mangle and will be indisposed for eternity. Yours in death S.D.

When you don't have any money, the problem is food. When you have money, it's sex. When you have both, it's health. If everything is simply jake, then you're frightened of death

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty.

Revenge is what I want. Nothing but pure unadulterated revenge. But my mother brought me up to be a lady.