Most of the stuff I do is garbage.

The only two things you can truly depend upon are gravity and greed.

I go to see maybe seven films a year at the most, and since I only go to see the best, it follows that I very rarely see my own.

Studio press agents make up anything they want to, and reporters go along with it. One flack created the legend that I had been blown up in an air crash during the war, and my face had to be put back together by way of plastic surgery. If it is a 'bionic face,' why didn't they do a better job of it?

One of the most important reasons for living is to do something - live outside of yourself and put together an idea, an idea that you want to explore and then complete... Awaken your creative sensitivities!

I used to be six foot four. Now that I'm old, I slouch. So, I'm six foot three.

Billy Crystal... I crap bigger than him.