I could probably say a lot of things, but I'm not sure they'd be fit for publication.

I love your duck with all its ducky goodness!

I was sitting here without a shirt on, absentmindedly scratching my back with a pen for about five minutes and I just looked in the mirror and saw that I had drawn a nice mural on my back. It looks kind of like a map of Wyoming, with all the rivers and mountain ranges, or maybe a portrait of Bob Marley. Yes. Tablature

To just write one song to then go and play huge festivals all around the world it's exciting and it's never really been the case.

I'll eat the hell out of a bagel. That's what I do

Spiffy is a free-loading deadbeat kitty who sits around on my couch, watches TV all day, and eats all the Triscuits.

Perhaps you could call your cat Meow so it could say it's own name. Or how about Stupid Cat Get Out Of Here. That would really confuse it if you tried to call it over to you.